Stage 1: Tension-Building
Tension builds just before an abusive incident occurs. This stage includes passive-aggressive behaviour on the part of the abuser, poor communication and escalating tension between two people. The victim often strongly fears angering their partner. Therefore, in this stage, victims often try to change their behaviour to prevent a violent or abusive episode.
Stage 2: Incident of Abuse
This stage involves an abuser trying to dominate their victim through acts of violence, such as kicking, hitting, pushing, biting and throwing objects or emotional abuse such as shouting, threatening, name calling.
Stage 3: Reconciliation
In the reconciliation stage, the abuser apologises for harming the victim and is affectionate and caring. They may choose to ignore the incidents of abuse, minimise them or blame them on the victim. In this stage, the abuser will make it seem as though the violence is finished, assuring the victim that such incidents will never occur again or that the abuser will change. The abuser often shows sadness and remorse, some will even threaten suicide to prevent the victim from leaving. Abusers may then shower victims with love, buying them gifts and treat them with extra kindness.
Stage 4: Honeymoon Period
The abusive relationship becomes relatively peaceful and calm during this phase, which often convinces the victim that the abuser has indeed changed. Conflicts inevitably arise, however, which lead again into the tension-building stage of the relationship.